What’s the Deal with Masc Lesbian Slander?

Seriously, I don’t get it.

I have been on the internet since I was 12. It practically raised me. From fandom shipping wars to advice, to activism, to shitposts, the internet has felt like a second home to me. Which is a roundabout way of saying I’m not a stranger to discourse. I’ve seen absolutely brilliant takes, and absolutely dumbass takes.

That being said, there haven’t been takes I’ve seen on the regular more often than those about preferences. There are a lot of words (maybe too many) on whether or not a preference is a problem, and my general answer is that a preference is only a problem the moment you talk shit about the people that aren’t your preference. It’s a very “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism” kind of a take and I’m okay with that. C’est la vie and all that.

All of this is a long way to getting to the point which is this: Over the past maybe a month or so on social media there’s someone who keeps perpetuating the idea that masc lesbians aren’t attractive, or that they’re cheaters, or that they’re misogynistic, etc. The backlash is routine and swift, but the “topic” keeps popping up with alarming regularity.

To me, I just don’t understand the masc slander. Then again, I have a strong preference for mascs/butches. I just find it to be confusing more than anything else. After the initial discomfort and rage wore off, I was scratching my head.

What would make somebody speak out and say really messed up stuff about mascs? Saying that they’re trying to be men, that they are inherently toxic, using examples of bad behavior to blame all of them as a group. In fact, a lot of the disgust around gender non-conforming women/enbys is tied to the idea that they are pseudo-men.

And that’s what it is.

Disgust.

Disgust is a deeply engrained physical reaction. At the risk of getting too deep with this, disgust is an emotion that is given when someone is around something that could make them sick or corrupt them. So a disgust toward masc/butches is a fear of some type of corruption by associating with them.

Sure, some people will reply that this isn’t that deep, but it kind of is. There is a fear that loving a masc will corrupt their queerness. Because loving a masc is loving a pseudo-man, and loving anything man-like means you’re not fully queer. And performing queerness incorrectly is a deeply damaging thing to queer people.

This belief, whether it's acknowledged or not, is also born from paranoia. That there’s a way to be queer that is acceptable. That won’t corrupt their queerness or the status quo. That there’s somehow this “goldilocks zone” of socially acceptable and still living their truth. And I have a few words about that.

Your queer life should be focused on what you like. Queerness is a place to be open and explore, not set yourself up with more rules. There isn’t a way to be socially acceptable, even if you’re with gender-conforming partners exclusively. That’s a difficult thing to deal with for anyone in these spaces. It takes time and a fair amount of introspection to sus out your own relationship with societal acceptance and live your truth.

It’s a very common thing to want to “bargain” with the powers that be in order to not deal with discrimination and harassment. That could your family, your friends, your coworkers, etc. It sucks, but it’s work we as queer people all have to do.

And that work starts with not attacking people you don’t find to be attractive.